How to describe your personality, in the words psychologists use

Why is it hard to describe your own personality?

Because the question asks for a summary of thousands of moments, and the moments are not evenly available to you. You remember what you felt and forget what you looked like; other people have the opposite problem.

A round-robin study measured it. Among 165 people rated by friends, by strangers and against behavioural tests, the self was the best judge of traits that live on the inside, such as anxiety. Friends judged evaluative traits such as intellect more accurately, and on extraversion self and others were about equally accurate (Vazire, 2010). Across 263 samples and more than 44,000 people, ratings by those who know someone well predict academic and job performance about as well as self-ratings, and better for some outcomes (Connelly & Ones, 2010).

So the honest answer depends on the trait. You are the best source on how much you worry and what effort costs you, and a weaker source on how clever or charming you are. Trait words are also slippery: "confident" can mean socially bold, or assertive, or untroubled by criticism, and those come apart in the same person. Naming the situation fixes the word in place.

What is a reliable method for describing your personality?

Three steps, in order, about a sentence each. It works for an interviewer, a dating profile or a new team.

• Pick the dimension. The trait vocabulary of English collapses into a few broad dimensions, a structure that survived decades of attempts to replace it (Goldberg, 1993). Sorting more than 1,400 trait adjectives produced the same five factors under ten different analytic methods, and a second study recovered the same structure in peer ratings as well as self-ratings (Goldberg, 1990). Six dimensions cover most of what people mean: Extraversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Emotional Stability, Openness to Experience, Honesty-Humility.
• Pick the level. Say higher, middle or lower, not present or absent. Most people sit near the middle of most dimensions, and "I am in the middle, and it depends on the week" is a description rather than a dodge.
• Give the example. One situation, one behaviour, one consequence. "In a meeting of ten people I wait, then say the thing nobody has said" beats "I am an introvert", because a listener can picture it and check it.

Start with the example and you get an anecdote; start with the label and you get a claim nobody can test. One rule keeps it honest: name the cost in the same breath as the benefit, because every position on every dimension buys something and spends something, which is the subject of positive and negative personality traits.

What are some personality description examples that do not boast?

Here is the method applied to all six dimensions, at three levels each. None of these lines praises the speaker and none apologises. Take the row that fits and swap in your own example.

Each line names a tendency, puts it in a situation and concedes something, and the concession is what makes the rest believable. For a wider vocabulary, personality adjectives groups 200 plain words under these six dimensions.

How do you describe your personality in three words?

Pick one word for the dimension that shapes your days most, one for a dimension where you sit in the middle, and one that names a real edge. Three compliments describe nobody.

• Curious, steady, blunt. Higher Openness, middle Emotional Stability, lower Agreeableness. Brings ideas, holds up under pressure, delivers bad news early.
• Reserved, thorough, loyal. Lower Extraversion, higher Conscientiousness, higher Agreeableness. Quiet, finishes things, stays with people.
• Warm, restless, honest. Higher Agreeableness, higher Openness, higher Honesty-Humility. Good with people, hard to keep in a routine, will not oversell.

Do not take all three words from one dimension, because "friendly, outgoing, sociable" is one fact repeated, and do not make all three flattering, because the third word is where a listener decides whether you know yourself. In an interview it is also your opening to the question about strengths and weaknesses.

What should you not say when describing your personality?

• A type label used as a measurement. Codes, star signs and colour categories place a person in a box, while the tendencies underneath are spread continuously. A code also throws away the level, so two people with the same letters can sit at opposite ends of the same trait. What is my personality type works through why a position beats a category.
• Absolutes. "I am always organised" invites a counterexample, and it will arrive. "I keep a list, and things not on it do get missed" is stronger because it is already true.
• The disguised boast. "I care too much" and "I am a bit of a perfectionist" are heard as evasions, and they cost you the credit an honest answer earns.
• Verdicts rather than descriptions. Lazy, difficult and arrogant are conclusions somebody else reached. The same behaviour has a plain reading, and the plain reading is the one you can act on.

How does a measured profile help you find the words?

Wellington is a science-based personality assessment from Therabot Labs LLC. It measures personality as continuous traits, built on the Big Five and HEXACO models, and writes the results back as a personal report rather than a type.

A measurement helps because it hands you sentences you did not have to write. The free Snapshot asks 60 questions, takes about 7 minutes and covers all six dimensions: Extraversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Emotional Stability, Openness to Experience, Honesty-Humility. The first ten questions are answered before anything is asked of you; after question ten you sign in with an email so answers are saved and results can be shown. No card is needed. What comes back is your personality card and where you land on each of the six dimensions, a band and a percentile, a vocabulary as much as a score.

Each trait is the average of several statements rated on a five-point accuracy scale, placed against a reference sample as a percentile and reported in one of three bands: Quiet below the 30th percentile, Balanced to the 70th, High above. Norms are provisional until the norming sample is complete. The bands and the Portrait names exist to make the result easier to talk about; the percentile is the measurement, and it is always shown alongside. Unlock the written report and every trait has three pages, one per band, written in advance by the writing and psychology team, so your answers choose which one you read. The Wellington Membership, $4.99 a month, adds 336 questions and reaches 90 traits, including every Big Five facet and all 24 VIA character strengths, which is where "outgoing" resolves into sociable, socially bold or cheerful, and it carries the method on toward all 255 traits. In the BFI-2, facets added predictive power beyond the domains above them (Soto & John, 2017).

A profile describes tendencies rather than delivering a verdict, and it is a starting point for the sentence you write, not the sentence itself. Wellington is a wellness tool for reflection, not a medical or psychological diagnosis, and it does not replace care from a qualified professional. It is not designed for hiring, and you can export or delete your data at any time.

Questions people ask

How would you describe your personality in an interview?

Name a tendency, put it in a work situation, and add the cost. "I plan in detail, so I catch problems early and I can be slow to change a plan once it is set" answers the question and pre-empts the follow-up. Avoid type labels, because the interviewer cannot check them.

What are good words to describe your personality?

Plain ones. Talkative or reserved, tidy or messy, warm or blunt, curious or practical, calm or moody, sincere or sly. Each pair marks the two ends of one of the six dimensions, and the neutral form is usually the accurate one. Loaded words such as lazy or arrogant are verdicts, not descriptions.

Is it better to describe yourself or to ask a friend?

Both, for different traits. You are the better judge of what happens inside, such as worry and what effort costs you (Vazire, 2010). A close friend is the better judge of how you come across, and observer ratings predict work and study outcomes about as well as self-ratings, and better for some outcomes (Connelly & Ones, 2010).